It's official. The summer heat has claimed more victims - this time six-legged ones. You see, I came home yesterday all migrained up complete with pulsating temples - only to find quite a few ants exploring my computer desk area. I did have an open bag of chips in the vicinity, but noooo these ants weren't even side glancing at it. Instead, the were gunning for my trusty o' laptop. More specifically, congregatin' near my blog bookmark. Yes, I have my blog bookmarked for the convenience of my inner narcissist. And yes, I've had to tell some kid (my sister) who was borrowing my laptop that it was some random Radiohead guitar tabs site.
But I digress. So, in my temple-pulsating state, I somehow started debating whether or not this situation would be better if I was an anteater. Specifically, the giant anteater because the physical dimensions more or less match. Think about it... if I was a giant anteater (G.A.E.), all these little pesky-and-almost-indestructible ants would be sweet sweet snacks on six-legged-fun-bite-sized packages! I wouldn't be slightly disgusted with them crawling around my computer junk. I would be very happy, indeed. It would be like chicken nuggets or bite-size T-bone steaks decided to crawl through my window sill and right into my lap.
Yum!
But being a G.A.E would have its downsides. For one, the lack of opposable thumbs and other digits would make it so much harder to get my narcissistic butt onto blogspot. For two, it would be quite a bit tougher to show off my super awesome bod thanks to all that G.A.E. hair. But then again, I would also look slightly more adorable.
I am glad to report when I called my apartment people to come terminate these marching anteater snacks, they had absolutely NO idea about the above thoughts...
I know, I gotst issues.
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